I'm going to get a tad personal...

Ok to start off with, I am totally shocked that John Edwards cheated on his wife. For some reason, I thought that he would be better than that. He and his wife seemed so together and loving, but there are many reasons men and women stray besides being in an unhappy marriage. I was totally bummed about the whole thing. Plus his wife is super awesome. Well I said I was going to get a tad personal but no, I'm not going to post another blog about my vagina. I think two is enough for right now. Although I may do a little update after I get my totally unneccesary but doctor mandated pap smear in the next couple weeks. Ok so as some of you, and by some of you I mean Mackenzie, the only person that reads this blog, know I will be studying abroad in London for the fall semester. I leave in 20 days! And as much as I am freaking out about my paper for El Salvador, finishing my book research for my London tutorial, finishing the last book on my London reading list, and researching for my oral report on York, I am still nervous about not knowing what to expect. And I'm kind of sick of people telling me how different it's going to be in London. Um....DUH. It's in an entirely different country. I know that it's pretty typically American to think that everywhere in the world is just like us, but since I'm not the typical American, it's starting to get on my nerves. Plus, the director of the London program has been really awesome about giving us all info on certain important differences in speech, mannerisms, etc. so I am doing the best to educate myself.

Since I am a complete worry wart and have been since I was a child (seriously, when I was 4 I ended up in the emergency room with a bad stomach ache. Turns out I almost gave myself an ulcer), I have been totally stressing about leaving. Right now, I'm too young to be worried about my safety or anything like that and I'm not so much nervous about actually living in London because it seems like a pretty traveler friendly city, but I am worried about how people will perceive me in London and other places I will be travelling for that matter. I don't want to be perceived as something I am not. Based totally on a political regime that I wasn't even old enough to vote for or against, in the first place.

So for some odd reason, the program director keeps telling us to brush up on the electoral college. Well first of all, I took 8th grade so I know how the electoral college works. And second of all, I honestly don't think random people are going to come up to me and ask me to explain the ins and outs of the "democratic" process in the United States. And if they do, they are making a big mistake, because once I start talking about how shitty America is, I'll never stop. But the fact remains, that Sr. Marci (aforementioned program director) still thought we should be prepared. Which scares me. Well obvs, I am an American History and American Studies double major so I think it's safe to say, I do know more about the U.S. than the average American, but I don't want to have to go around defending who I am to everyone who hears me speak with an American accent.

But before I start my rant, I mean carefully thought out intelligent post, can I just take a minute to discuss the word "American." I fucking hate it. First of all, it basically says nothing. When someone says they are American, they could mean they are from any country within North America, South America, Central America. In fact, some people in South American and Central American countries get offended when people from the United States refer to themselves as "American" like they own the term. So I don't like to refer to myself as American. Yes, I live in North America, but so do Canadians and Mexicans. When I am in London, I would like to refer to myself as something other than American, but I am having difficulty figuring out what to call myself. In Spanish, a new phrase is making its way into usage which I think is totally awesome. In spanish, the United States is translated as "los estados unidos". Therefore a person from the United States is "estadounidense." A Unitedstatesian. How cool is that? I think we definitely need to bring that word into usage in the U.S.

I know The United States sucks balls right now. I know that the Bush administration has most likely been the worst administration in the history of the United States. Personally, I don't believe that George Bush is evil. I know some people do and that some people have compared him to Hilter, etc. But I don't believe that. When greed, complete ignorance, and the hunger for power combine this is what you get. One of the things I think will be most interesting about going to London will be seeing how people from a different part of the world react to the United States, especially during an election year. From the news, I can imagine what people think of the United States. War. A huge national defecit. Unemployment. Foreclosures. Unaffordable healthcare. The threat of civil rights being taken away. Complete lack of respect for other cultures. Spencer and Heidi. The list could go on and on. And honestly, I would agree that all those things on the list do pretty much sum up the United States right now. But it still makes me uneasy to think that people will be judging me personally, someone they don't know, on something my country's government has done. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I think considering the way in which many people view the United States, my paranoia is not completely invalid.

Yesterday I ordered a tote bag that I decided would be nice to carry crap in around London. Plus I thought it was cute. It says "everybody loves an Obama supporter." For some reason I feel the need to let everyone know I am a Democrat, or at the very least not a supporter of the Bush regime. Yeah, it's cutesy and kind of stupid, but the fear that people will judge me based on the country in which I grew up in makes me want to actively work against the stereotypes about people in the United States. But to be honest with you, I'm not even sure what those stereotypes are. I know the stereotypes that Unitedstatesians have against other Unitedstatesians. But I'm not totally sure what people outside this country think of Americans. When I went to El Salvador, people said they disagreed with our government and its policies (who have totally royally screwed the people of El Salvador), but said they did not have problems with the Unitedstatesians how have attempted to help the Salvadorans during the country's civil war and since the Peace Accords. I have read that people in Britain, find people from the U.S. a little over-friendly and too eager to talk to strangers, which I can totally see, particularly since I have a big mouth. But I haven't heard anything about what they think of the people of the United States. I have read about the Iraq war protests and the protests centering around visits from George Bush etc. But that happens in the United States as well.

So that's my dilemma. I don't know what to expect. I think it would be so fucking rad if I could have open conversations with random people about the U.S., its government policies, Unitedstatesians, etc. But I don't know if I will get the chance if people are going to judge me the minute I open my mouth. And as much as I disagree with so many things going on in this country today and can be harsh in my criticisms, I still feel the need to defend it. For what it once was and what I still think it can be.

Speaking of London, I'll still be blogging from across the pond. I'm not sure if I want to blog totally or just journal old school. I'm still trying to decide. But considering the only person that reads this blog will be in London with me, I am thinking I might do a combination of both. In any case, this will probably the last time I blog before I leave. On a side note, I'm turning 20 on August 29th. I was born at 3:33 p.m. so in U.S. time I will already be in London when I turn the big 2-0. I wish that you could request a cake and make the flight attendants sing to you like they do at Fridays.