Longview

It’s always a little unnerving when a Green Day song, one about sitting at home doing nothing and being an all around loser, pretty much sums up your life. But oh well. I have been dealing with an intense and crippling case of laziness the past few weeks. It seems as if I'm not half-assing it at work, I'm at home sapped of all energy to the point where I can't even bother getting out of my pajamas to make a Dairy Queen run. I have been attributing my new found attitude to the fact that I am so stressed, I have ceased to care and that fact that I actually have been working long days lately. But I think I've managed to hit a new low. The other night I was laying in bed watching something (it's all a blur to me now) and I decided since I was bored and in bed and slightly relaxed, the best course of action would be to masturbate. Some people only masturbate, oh I don't know, when they're horny. I do it for entertainment purposes. Welcome to my life. Anywho. It's dark and I have my little lamp on casting a soft glow around the room. I turn slightly to my side, so as not to disturb the cover cacoon keeping me warm, and see that there is a huge pile of books blocking the drawer to my beside table where I keep my vibrator. In order to get my vibrator out of it's little cubby, I would have to climb out of bed, move the 8+ books away from the drawer, fish out the vibrator, close the drawer and rearrange books as not to trip when getting out of bed again. Sure, it might have taken all of 45 seconds. Sure I would have to travel approximately one square foot to accomplish my task. But I couldn't. And as I silently said "fuck it" and turned over to go to sleep, I had a revelation. I was just too lazy to masturbate. I was too lazy. To masturbate. Aside from the fact that I have never been to...anything to masturbate, I was completely shocked. Is this what my life has become? Am I at the tender age of 19 becoming so inept at making good use of my time and being active that I could no longer perform even the simplest and, let's face it, habitual tasks? Needless to say I was surprised at myself. You know, there is this line in the Green Day song "Longview" in which Billie Joe sings "When masturbation's lost its fun/You're fucking lazy." Personally, I never thought I would identify with lyrics from an album entitled Dookie, but I guess there is a first time for everything.