God Bless America

This picture is exciting for three reasons: 1. French's Mustard 2. Michelob Ultra 3. French's Mustard and Michelob Ultra together. But before I can explain how this blessed event occurred, I must go back to the beginning.

I don't like one of my flatmates. She happens to be my roommate and I have to put up with her slobby, unkempt side of the room as well as listen to her talk about all the sex she has with strangers. She also comes home drunk, eats my cold leftover pasta out of the dish, puts it back in the refrigerator and doesn't tell me (I received pasta information from another flatmate). She is loud. Wastes enegery by never turning off lights. Turns up the television blaringly loud. Screams into her cell phone. Doesn't shower when she comes home from bars and makes our room smell like booze and cigarettes. Never keeps up with her homework and then bitches about not having enough time to get it done. Constantly talks about boys, their peens, and other relevant body parts. Complains about her body quite often. Calls other women "fucking bitches" with alarming frequency. And shows an all around lack of respect or concern for other human beings. That being said, I mostly completely ignore her ramblings and do my best to stay away from her at all costs. I also can't masturbate as often as I want because I now have a roommate, which obvs is hard for chronic masturbator like myself. But because I share a room with her it is hard to get up, get ready and not have to answer the inevitable question of "what are you doing today?" But for the past two days I have been lucky and been able to spend some days without her.

Which leads me to mustard, sort of. I have a love affair with mustard. And its tangy vinegary taste has been sadly lacking from my palate this past month in London and though I have searched high and low, mustard has yet to be found in London. Of course, London has some mustard. London has french mustard, which looks like baby poo and tastes like syrup. And they also have English mustard which was so hot, I wept while eating it. All I want is mustard. Wonderful yellowy mustardy sauce which is great on just about everything. And today I got it.

I went to Greenwich today to get some contacts, which included going to the Royal Observatory where I was able to "see" the Prime Meridian. It was really exciting...

After seeing the National Maritime Museum (snoozeville) and going to another art gallery we went to the Greenwich Market where I got Ethiopian cuisine from a street vendor and Habiscus juice (!). Then, after seeing the Old Royal Naval College and going down the the banks of the nasty smelly Thames, we (Jenna, Mackenzie, our adopted flatmate for the weekend Bethany, and I) went to back to the Greenwich Market, found some awesome vintage clothing stalls, talked to a vendor about Sarah Palin and Barack Obama, and went to a candy store where I spent about $8 on gummi sugary things and turkish delights. After all that you would have thought we would be pooped. But we weren't. Not by a long shot.

It all started on the Tube when Jenna, Mackenzie, and I were talking about burritos and Jenna and mine's shared love of Chipotle came up and as we were speaking of the hot and spicy goodness of a delicious burrito from the motherland we obvs had a craving for mexican. So we decided to go. The next day we were to make our attack. I found it hard to concentrate. All I wanted was that burrito and I bemoaned my need with several "burritos! uhhhh...burritos..." throughout the day. Until we came home and found the burrito place to be closed. At 2:30 in the afternoon.

So we planned an attack from another angle and tonight we made our move. After our fun in Greewich was over we took the Tube to Canary Wharf. Where we found it. Chili's. American grill food at Great Britain prices. Nothing could have made this moment better. But then I saw it. I could see it's bright yellow bottle twinkling in the distance. My heart skipped a beat. I pointed and exclaimed "Mustard!" as though I was a sailor at sea, the first one to spot land after a long and dangerous journey. And as I was lost in my euphoric state over the unexpected find of these golden treasure, I looked at the menu and saw that they served Michelob Ultra. My favorite beer in the U.S. I was overcome with emotion and immediately knew that I must have both. So I did. And it was delicious. And though I paid nearly $22 for my meal, it was worth it because everyone needs a little taste of home. The day was nearly perfect. Until we left the restaurant. We missed the bathrooms and almost lost Mackenzie as she attempted to climb up a down going escalator to get to use, but eventually we all made it back to the tube station. After going our separate ways (Mackenzie and I home and Jenna and Bethany to a movie) Mackenzie and I transferred at Moorgate and got onto the Circle Line. Only something wasn't right. And it took us a total of 4 stops to realize we were going the opposite direction on the line. Now, this would not necessarily be so problematic if the circle line going in the diretion in which we needed to go to get home wasn't delayed 20 minutes. And of course while waiting 20 minutes for the correct train we saw a man with a Puss in Boots hat (complete with the feather), a man with a rather large tongue ring licking his girlfriend's face, and a variety of other characters that combined to make our journey one mugging short of horrific. However, I can not really complain. Because I have been to the promised land. A land of bright red neon signs. A land where hot fajitas are brought to patrons tables still sizzling in their pans. And a land where mustard and michelob never leave eachother's side.