I want to see Socrates vs. Plato in a Celebrity Deathmatch episode

The tip of my flip flop got caught on an uneven part of the sidewalk today and I almost fell flat on my face when I was walking back from main campus. I thought I had broken my flip flop at first and I am glad I didn’t because that happened to me when I went to Olive Garden last summer. My shoe broke under the table and I had to walk out of the restaurant and through the parking lot in my bare feet (I thought I would look stupid if I was just wearing one shoe, plus I would have felt lopsided). I am also glad I didn’t fall because it would have been like the time last year when I fell into the elevator and was sprawled out with my books on the floor as two innocent bystanders stared at me until the elevator doors slowly closed. Or the time when I was walking with a bunch of groceries and I fell right on my face and smooshed all my groceries underneath me. Or the time when I fell outside the Fine Arts building, but still managed to save the cupcake I was holding from damage. Or the time in high school when I fell in the parking lot at work and one of my co-workers say me lying dazed on the pavement and thought he had run me over with his car whilst backing out of the garage. Today I had to go turn in my London study abroad forms and my $500 deposit, but Pat wasn’t there so I went back a second time and the doors were closed. So I tried to open one, but it wouldn’t work. Three girls were inside on the other side of the glass doors staring at me. Yet no one really seemed to care that I obviously was fighting a losing battle with the door and as a result no one came to my rescue...I think you had to push.